silly » The Fancy Reader

Everyone – including hero and heroine – addresses each other by their first names, even immediately after meeting each other the first time.
Parents are a) dead, b) bitter and twisted, or c) eternally widowed.
Parents have no qualms in naming their daughter Mackenzie (or the like), or their son Devon (or the like).
Five things heroines are obsessed with: a) a desire to lose their virginity; b) a need to protect their virginity; c) shagging heroes blind; d) saving the poor, and e) getting the hero to say “I love you”.
Historical heroines are easily shocked when told they have to marry a complete stranger.
There are five career options for heroes: spy, adventurer, war hero, Highland chieftain, and rake.
There are four British time periods: Regency, Victorian, “Medieval” and Elizabethan.
Everyone in the Highlands speaks in Scots.
Everyone in the Highlands hates the English.
The Highlands is Scotland and Scotland is the Highlands.
A Highland-born hero automatically takes over his late father’s place as a chieftain.
A ‘laird’ is a Scottish nobleman.
All men in Scotland wear short kilts.
The British legal system covers all three: England, Wales and Scotland.
Everyone in working-class London speaks Cockney.
Heroine’s idea of showing independence — have a job of her own; says ‘bloody’ any time and anywhere; does whatever she wants; rejects/ignores her elders’ orders without qualms.
It takes only three servants and a butler to maintain a large mansion.
Only towns that exist in England are London, York, Bath, and Brighton.
Only towns that exist in Scotland are Edinburgh and Glasgow.
Only towns that exist in Wales are… I don’t think Wales exists.
No one goes to church on Sundays.
It takes only a couple of hours to travel in a horse-driven carriage from London to York.
There is no difference between the working class and the poor class.
The gentry is no different from the aristocracy.
Only weather conditions exist in England are sunny, rainy, or icy-coldy.
During the Medieval period, heroine are a) psychic, b) healer, c) saviour of the poor, d) rich, or e) all four.
During the Medieval period, heroes are a) knight, b) lord, c) spy, d) rich, or d) all four.
During the Medieval period, everyone says “Nay” and “Aye”.
During the Georgian period, heroes never wear wigs, coiffures or curls, not even for lavish fancy dress balls.
Heroes have lol-worthy nicknames, ranging from Hawk to Ram and from Satan to Devil.
It’s rarely cold in mansions, castles, and town houses.
English and Welsh bastard heroes can inherit their fathers’ titles.
It’s easy for hero and heroine to have sex anywhere in a servant-run mansion or town house.
People of ethnic minorities don’t exist in the UK; when they do, they are usually lady’s maids or servants (and of course, best friends to heroines).
Anyone can marry into the aristocracy and without social consequences.
The majority of heroes attended Eton college and the rest went to Rugby.
A title is a privilege, not a duty.
A British nobleman can marry a non-noble woman without suffering social consequences and he rarely considers how it’d affect the rest of his family.
Everyone measures walks with blocks.
Heroines can be forced to marry against their will.
Servants and heroines are best friends.
Heroines can have a bath any time they want.