The Fancy Reader

I feel I’m a boiling red kettle strolling through fields of nettles under a super-blazing sun.

Truly, I do. Not only I look so pathetically miserable, my face and neck are flaming red with seemingly hundreds of angry-looking blisters. (Thank god, really, youngest mite hasn’t had it that bad.) W’s taken to calling me “The Other Helen of Troy”. Bastard. He’ll pay a dear price, mark my words.

The itchiest parts are those behind my knees, in my ears, beneath my right shoulder blade, and below the nape, between the shoulder blades. I must have clawed my right ear because when I woke up and looked in a mirror. The left ear looked fine, and the right ear was basically a scarlet cabbage with beads of blood. Yikes. I actually thought last night  I’d rather have pneumonia again than experiencing this. I’m such a wimp.

Looking on the bright side, I watched more films than I had managed last few months. Yay. Nicer to have youngest mite as my bed-side companion, even though he slept most times. Films I saw so far:

• Winter’s Bone (2010) – a character-driven drama of a povetry-stricken but fiercely proud family in the Ozacks (sp?), somewhere in the US. Better than I expected. Gritty and grim, but compelling. I was disconcerted at times because there were bits that reminded me so much of north-east Scotland. I really have no idea why I thought this. Maybe it was the speed of news travelling and the oddness of a community? I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to watch it again.
• The Manchurian Candidate (2004) – Uhh… no comment. *thumbs down*
• Top Hat on BBC iPlayer. ‘Twas lovely. Truly fun and sweet. Made me think of Mum, who was a huge Astaire fan. Thanks, Fred, for giving her a great time when she needed you.
• X (2010) – a surprisingly good Australian dark thriller set in the sleazy side of an Australian city (I forgot which.. Sydney? Yeah, that’s the city with that umbrella landmark, the opera place). A 30-year-old high-class prostitute – sets on making this night her last before escaping to overseas – and a 17-year-old newly-arrived street prostitute witness the unexpected murder of their client, and go on the run from the psychotic killer. It has a fair amount of full-on nudity, but it didn’t exploit or titillate like other films did (I’m looking at you, Showgirls and Brown Bunny). Anyroad, even though the plot was pretty predictable, X is a bleak, compelling and well-made film with solid performances from both leads. I liked it.
• High Tension (2003) – I turned it off as soon as I realised it was basically a slasher film. Although I’m a huge fan of horror cinema, I don’t enjoy slasher films. I didn’t even like Halloween. Just don’t see any point in that type. And torture porn like Hostel. I really do not enjoy that sort, not when there is no point to it. Funny Games, I can handle as it’s also a character-driven drama, but Hostel? No. Not interested. I think slasher / torture porn is generally the shallowest sub-genre of Horror.
• Anamorph (2007) – it has one of best opening credits I’d ever seen. I rewatched it at least ten times within half an hour. Shame I can’t say the same for the rest of the film. The premise certainly has some originality, but the pacing and the editing were a bit off. Overall, it was an enjoyable murder mystery drama-thriller with an art angle, and a strong 1970s vibe. With the 1970s vibe, I suspect the director was paying a tribute to Paul Schrader and others from that era.
• McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971) A dumb-as-feck gambler (Warren Beatty) and a clever prostitute (Julie Christie) become business partners in an isolated Old West mining town, and their enterprise thrives until a large corporation arrives on the scene. I was pretty doped when I watched this so all I have is an impression of fleeting images. Plan to rewatch it when I’m not half-dead.
• Jaws (1975) Fun. It didn’t have scenes I remembered, though. It wasn’t until the end I realised the bulk of my memories may be from Jaws II (1978). Shooting at a dark shadow of fishes, for instance. Anyhow, watching Jaws made me miss Robert Shaw so much. Seeing him here made me want to watch The Sting, one of my all-time favourite crime caper films, and I couldn’t find the DVD so I ordered a copy. The Sting DVD arrived today. Guess what I plan to watch next.
• Dreamcatcher (2003) – a Stephen King adaptation. The first fifteen or thirty minutes was fine, but after that? Overacting, dodgy performances, unbelievable premise, many unintentionally funny scenes. A real mess. I was quite shocked when I spotted the director credit: Lawrence Kasdan. The one who wrote and directed The Big Chill, Silverado, Wyatt Earp and Body Heat. He should know how to build suspense.
• Haunted House on the Hill (1953) A millionaire throws a party for his estranged wife, but this is no ordinary party. He’s invited five strangers to his mansion that’s filled with ghosts, murders and some other dodgy figures. Whoever manages to live long enough to see the dawn gets $10,000 – and the right to be alive – as the ultimate prize. I never met a William Castle film I liked. I actually prefer the recent remakes to his films. Such as Thir13en Ghosts (remake of 13 Ghosts), I Saw What You Did, etc. I love Vincent Price, but in this? Gah.
• Bugsy Malone (1976) – a children’s musical. That’s right, a musical. Set in 1930s Chicago, a tale of gangsters, hall dancers and such, and all are performed by children under 12. The mite watched with his jaw hanging open. A sure sign that he was enjoying it, completely lost in that world.

‘Cept for the mite, I have zero interest in everything else. No food. No book. No friend. No nothing. I’m an angry sullen Scottish little bint who does not like feeling this itchy. I honestly could feel Bonnie Langford in me whining, “This is so unfaiiiir!” Or Nikki from Big Brother. Maybe both. A hybrid of both, anyway.

I’m getting better, though. That’s the main thing. That’s what I keep telling myself. THAT’S THE MAIN THING! THAT’S THE MAIN THING! THAT’S THE MAIN THING!

Speaking of which, I wonder what’s going on with John Milton’s epic poem Paradise Lost. There are four American film adaptations of this poem due to be released next three years. Bearing in mind there has been only two film adaptations of Paradise Lost in the 126-year history of world cinema.  The first one was made in 1912 by an American silent studio and the second in 1990 by a German film company.

There are loads of spec scripts floating around, have been for years, but no one had ever shown interest in giving Milton’s epic poem a try. Sure, some ripped off bits and pieces off it without giving credit to Milton, but still.

So how did the four manage to get produced and filmed? That’s what intrigues me.

I did wonder if there was an anniversary coming up, but Wikipedia says PL was released in 1667; Milton was born in 1606 and died in 1674, so it can’t be an anniversary. I’m almost willing to bet that someone’s script got some thinking, “Hey, this 17th century dude did some really cool stuff. And public domain, too. Yay! Find me a writer!” Almost. Anyroad, quite a few eyes are on this version, out of all four: Paradise Lost (2013).

A former-but-thankfully-still-gossipy colleague said there is a spike in acquiring scripts of these genres/tropes:

• post-apocalyptic – the biggest trend coming up
• faux medieval fantasy
• fairy tales (more morbid, the better) with a focus on the European medieval period.
• American period fantasy. Specifically, American Gothic / 19th century urban fantasy
• epic American journey – quite 1970s, which in turn:
• a homage to the 1970s – this could mean a remake rash of 1970s-era classic films or they will set more stories in that period
• 1960s-era politics / present-day political thriller/drama
• Space – there are a lot of pending films involving astronauts
• vampires (blegh)
• adaptations of SF-slanted and paranormal YA novels (there’s a huge interest in one YA novel, the Stepford-Wives type story. Not Uglies. A teenage boy rebels against a town that uses music (?) to influence and mind-control teenagers.)

There is a marked decline of interest in horror, big-budget disaster, romantic comedy, ‘women-centric’ films, best buddies, relationship, Asian remakes, werewolves (odd), ghost stories, police thriller (criminals’ POVs are preferred), WWII, serial killers and (erm, I forgot the last one).

It’ll be all about One Person (or Group) Against the World or the Biggest Social Change next few years. And that means Science Fiction and Fantasy. Great news for some.

It’s also interesting to see that there’s a lot of nostalgic romanticism at the moment too, as there seems to be a love affair with the 1960s and the 1970s going on. I wonder why. And what prompted it.

Anyway, that’s about it, really. I’m going to watch my latest addiction: Celebrity MasterChef.