Food: I think I’ve Just Murdered Meat Buns

Just made my first step into Cookeryland with a writer friend’s recipes she wanted me to test.

The first step, I’m sorry to say, wasn’t pretty.

I can’t share her meat buns recipe, but I can show you the photographic proof of my attempt. (Will isn’t here so I couldn’t use his iPhone to take awesome-quality photos. I used mine – a ZTE Racer – so excuse me for inflicting bad-quality photos on your eyeballs.)

BEFORE

AFTER

I tasted one earlier. Rather yeasty. Meat bits tasted like separated limbs of a well-stomped and chargrilled roadkill left in a sun-dried puddle of broth and soy sauce.

Verdict: quite terrible.

Without sharing my opinion, I offered one to Anna who inexplicably became wary. After I explained it was only a meat bun, she declined with a polite smile.

ME: Why?
ANNA: (hesitates) Meat buns I know are white.
ME: This is a modern twist. Baked. Instead of steamed.
ANNA: I see… but baked meat buns I know don’t look like those.
ME: Oh.
ANNA: Those look like cakes you like to make. Rock cakes?
ME: Ha! True, they do. (pause) Still won’t try?
ANNA: I will. Later.
ME: Really?
ANNA: Keep practising! (pats my shoulder) You’re doing fantastically well! These look great!
ME: I fucked up, didn’t I?
ANNA: I can help with the washing up!

Next: Stuffed cabbages with all sorts including octopus bits (it actually involves cooking a live octopus. I don’t think so. I’m getting a dead one. Or the tinned version.)