Today had been a busy day with me leaving comments at some blogs across the blogland. I finally remembered the other main reason why I left the blogland.
The reason? I hate my writing voice.
=D Seriously, I hate the way I write because it seems so preachy, grammatically bad and… blegh. And for fuck’s sake, I can be so long-winded. I wish there was an editor inside me to sort that out, but no, it was all blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah until every cell in my brain felt suicidal.
A bit like how my gran used to go whenever she was in mood to “educate” me about life and the universe. “If you don’t put your cardigan on, you’ll die of something really dreadful. Mark my words, young lady. And blah blah blah bla blah.”
I’m a social creature with an inability to know when to shut up. Today I really felt every bit of that. It’s the kind that makes me want to stab a knife in my hand repeatedly while screaming, Shut up shut up shut up! shut up! =D I don’t know why I dislike my voice so much, I just do.
Tomorrow I’m going to will myself into believing the blogland doesn’t exist. And that it hadn’t been invented yet. I’ll busy myself with sketching on my spanking new graphic tablet and pen. Hopefully throughout the day, my deep irritation with my own writing voice will fade with time. If that doesn’t work, then I will… well, buy myself a Cornetto. Choc mint. Then tell myself to get over it.
ROFLMFAO At least you are generally coherent.
Something I have quickly learnt about myself, I can not comment coherently, I ramble for about five paragraphs, only to realise when I go back to the blog, that I completely missed making any kind of point.
Maili, I like your online voice! It’s hard to convey exactly what you want to say online, complete with correct intonation, etc. I find I sometimes sound more strident than I mean to be.
Edie, I love your comments, so please ramble on. Actually, I don’t find them incoherent at all. And now I have an edit AND a preview option set up…:-)
Blogland takes itself way too seriously. Goodness knows I’ve been guilty of this myself at times. Wendy’s post cracked me up. Although I don’t agree with every point she makes, it served as a refreshing reminder to take what I want from Blogland and ignore the rest.
I gotta say I heart Mz Sarah!
That edit button has been so appreciated! Though some would say it could have been used more.
Since I got sidetracked by me earlier, ditto to Sarah’s point on your voice, and hope you are enjoying your sketching! And that we get to see some of it?
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I haven’t noticed anything particularly long-winded or boring about your voice. I suppose I could now go off into introspection about whether my own writing voice is boring, long-winded etc ….. If it is, would that make my appreciation of your voice worthless, or would it simply imply that you’re not alone in being long-winded?
I think the feelings you’re describing sound a lot like the hatred a lot of people feel for the sound of their recorded voices. The recorded voice grates on them, because they’re expecting it to sound the same way as it does when they hear the sound coming out of their mouths. However, none of their friends, family or acquaintances think there’s any problem with the voice at all; they’re used to it and may even like it very much.
I about wet myself reading that bit about your gran. I think a lot of us had grans like that
@Maili Did you buy yourself that choc mint Cornetto? If so, I’m deeply envious! I’ve never seen them here.
@Edie
That’s so me! I tend to be long-winded when just one line will do. A couple of friends jokingly nicknamed me “The Long Way Round” because of mega-long email replies to something simple. Blegh.
@SarahT
You should have seen my rants on Scottish historical romance sub-genre on message boards and some blogs. I mean, I seriously ranted. However, I didn’t take it seriously, but some thought I did. So yeah, I get what you mean.
“And now I have an edit AND a preview option set up…:-)”
I need to sort the comment system out. It doesn’t send me an email notification when one replied, and there is no edit/preview option. The smiley problem drives me nuts (it shifts to the far end, for some reason.) Hm. I might re-do this blog with a better comment system.
@Edie
Most sketches are downright awful. I promise that when there is a weak moment, I’ll upload it for us to have a giggle over. =D I really do need someone to point out flaws, which would help me to improve (yes, I’m one of those who love shoot-from-the-hip criticisms or feedback about my creations).
@Laura
Heh! When I read, I read it out loud in my head. That’s why I enjoy certain authors’ voices and when I don’t. I rarely like reading my responses or posts because the voice sounds dreadful in my head.
@Wendy
Heheh. Ah, Gran was a legend. (Usually for wrong reasons.)
@SarahT
No! It was out of stock when I went. Got myself a Flake 99 instead. (Photo of a Flake 99 at a random stranger’s Flickr account)
Why isn’t it called an ice-cream with a flake it it? I always read you with a drunk Glaswegian accent and sort of pirate thrown in, so I think you have a good voice.
@Wendy
Because we’re daft like that. Kind like you Americans calling the national baseball championship “the world series”.
Hahaha(!) Wit, werr ye reyein ti lyk gen mi a nit in the ear, fit? Och. Ah’d ben brawe wiv whit thee ben seyin, Wends, ‘cuz if ye were fae roon boot heire richt, ah wudde be rekin ye ben reyein mi aull get het up lyk.
If thee rilly were, ach! Nae wirkin! Hahahaha! Nae guid ‘cuz gin the wyce it gaes betwix mi ud thee, yield be wize ti upen thine ears ti keek tae ma wirds of wizdum, quine.
Cuz if ye dinnae, thee haesa ben doun undur ma feet aull bliddy lyk. Thy ears follae wit ah ben seyin, ye besom?
Nae matter if ye disnae whit ah ben seyin ‘cuz, ma deir twee Ahmureken hen, it’d ben ahm rill pleisur ti crush thine neep-lyk heid ti mek it a midden lyk, fae ma fum.
(That’s my crappy attempt at using the Aberdonian dialect.
I can’t even do the Glaswegian, so I didn’t bother reyin. 
)
Sorry, Wendy, I thought you were Super Librarian Wendy, which is why I went at it full blast. Hope it didn’t scare you off.
If I had feelings I’d be cut!
I got the runaway Scot in the house to translate and he said he understood about half and something about he comes from Morningside and doesn’t need to understand Aberdonian.
I recall standing next to 2 ordinary looking blokes in a pub who were gabbling away–turns out they came from Aberdeen, not the third moon of the planet Hoots Mon in the Reigel system.
@wendy
I can hear it in my head, but didn’t know how to write it. So it got me thinking it’d be 99.9 gibberish. Probably is, though. 
That last line has just made me spew my drink. I’m actually quite happy that your runaway Scot got the half of it, because I didn’t know what the hell I was writing.
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