I received a private message from a really sweet person (I want to name her here, but she rather I didn’t, so I’m respecting her wish) on Twitter asking, “Why do you do that?” Do what?
She patiently explained she was taken aback at the sight of me making fun of Avid Book Reviewer Keishon for liking Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander (aka Cross Stitch). She pointed out it wasn’t the first time I did this as I had made fun of Dear Author Jane‘s love for Linda Howard’s paranormal romantic suspense, Dream Man, and for recommending Stephenie Meyer’s YA romance Twilight (years ago). I also messed with Tor editor Heather Osborn, Karen Knows Best and a couple of others for liking Linda Howard’s category romance, Sarah’s Child.
As I already explained to the person: I know these people or at least know how they might react.
I wouldn’t make fun of someone’s favourite book if I didn’t know the person well. There are some readers I know quite well and yet wouldn’t rib them over their favourite books, because they don’t have a taste for that kind of ribbing, which I do understand and respect.
And I wouldn’t do it during a proper book discussion, either. It’s common sense, really. One doesn’t muck about when there’s a group of people trying to have a conversation. It’s a matter of respecting time and place. I can – and do – take part in a serious book discussion with respect about a book I didn’t enjoy. It’s called boundaries.
Some readers know me well enough to know that I get easily wound up if they rib me about Scottish historical romance novels. Sybil of The Good, The Bad and the Unread does this almost all the time, damn her soul.
The person then wanted to know how I could be friends with some of these people if we don’t have similar taste in books. That surprised me. There will always be certain books some love that I don’t, and vice versa.
Take KristieJ, SuperWendy, Nicole, and Tara Marie, for example. Their old lists resemble to mine the most and yet, some books they loved I couldn’t finish, and they were the same with mine. DA Jane’s taste in category romances is similar to mine, but everything else? It’s pot luck.
Meanwhile, long-time blogger friends Rosario, Candy of Smart Bitches and Karen Knows Best’s tastes were usually 50,000 miles away from mine. Candy adored pirate romances, heroine-disguised-as-boy romances, and so on. I can’t stand those. Meanwhile I think it was her who couldn’t handle the rivals-or-friends-turned-lovers scenario. Rosario tended to like mysteries with a strong romantic element, similar to what Keishon enjoys, and she also liked Jo Beverly, Mary Jo Putney and a few other authors whose works I couldn’t get into. And yet Rosario is one of my most valued rom reviewers.
And what I like about them – as well as the others I didn’t mention here – is, we can have disagreements (and an occasional ribbing) without letting it affect our online friendship. I can say, “That heroine deserves to be shot” and they won’t take it personally, and vice versa.
I can’t remember which said this — while knowing I loved Theresa Weir’s Amazon Lily, Linda Howard’s Midnight Rainbow, and Glenna McReynolds’s River of Eden, she said along the line of “How could you enjoy those?! They don’t shower! Insects! Dirty grounds! Snakes! Digusting!” =D
I think what truly makes us respectful towards each other is a willing to respect and protect the camaraderie of a community. Such as sharing opinions on romance-related book issues without a feeling we have to bite our tongues to protect the camaraderie. Disagreements – which usually were, however heated, civilised – are what makes it so fun. I think so, anyway.
I don’t see anything wrong with stating a dislike for a book that everyone else seems to love. We all are readers and we all have opinions.
So if the majority enjoyed a certain book that you don’t, there’s really nothing to stop you from stating your opinion. There’s no doubt that some will react strongly, but as long as they aren’t insulting, it should be fine to disagree.
When making fun or criticising, the focus should be on books, not readers themselves. Such as questioning their taste (except when in jest with friends). It still does mean one has to know them well to know when it’s all right to make fun or criticise a favourite book in their presence, though.
Of course, there were times I stepped over the line and thankfully, most know me well enough to tell me to back off. Once I realised I was across the line, I usually apologise and then it’s all quickly forgotten. (Thank God. =D)
We all dance to a different drummer. There are some books/authors that consistently receive rave reviews that I just can not read. They just don’t have that je ne sais quoi that makes a book enjoyable for me.
Would I make fun of my friends/family who love their books? Depends on the timing – I have a very healthy fear of their possible retaliation.
Like so many things, it depends on how it’s done, and who’s doing it. Making personal jokes is probably only appropriate if you know the person you’re teasing well.
I can’t think of a single online reviewer who has identical taste to mine. Keishon and I often agree on mysteries. I usually agree with KristieJ on historicals – but not always. I sometimes agree with Robin on historicals. Jane seems to have similar taste when it comes to contemporaries. There are so many others who have crossovers in certain genres or subgenres. Mrs. Giggles and Karen (when she still reviewed books) have very different taste to mine.
Plus I think the longer you “know” someone online, the more “in tune” you get with their personal tastes. I’m at the point with KristieJ that if I’m reading a book she loved I can usually tell spot on why she loved it. Kristie’s now at the point with me, where if she’s going to recommend I try an author, she’s going to pick a book with a really strong, well-defined heroine. Otherwise, she knows I’ll probably get annoyed
@Talthor
True. Your family is that scary?
@SarahT
Again, true. I can’t think of a current reviewer whose taste is very similar to mine. I think I have a long way to go, getting to know to reviewers, old and new.
@Wendy
I don’t know if that’s still the case today, though.
KristieJ was easy to get: she adores heroes who have had everything but the kitchen sink thrown at their heads when they were young. More angst there is, more thrilled she may be.
Maili: Um yeah, pretty much still true today
She like ‘em with lots o’ baggage.
mm.. that is something I should watch, my problem is I dislike a LOT of books that reviewers love. Though I normally avoid the reviews/posts about them.
Teasing friends about books though is part of the fun. One friend and I are always having a go at eachother about her and her shopping diaries, me and my anything paranormal..