Hm. Spotted this on a message board of The Time Traveler’s Wife at IMDB.com.
These Romance Books and Movies are so Unrealistic
by [xx removed xxx] 2 days ago (Thu Aug 13 2009 17:22:35)I am a nice looking educated woman in my mid 40′s. I have been in and out of a lot of relationships with men in my past and have seen all the tricks they can play. I can honestly say I have yet to meet a man who loves a woman the way its depicted in romance books and in these movies. I saw the movie the Notebook recently and thought this kind of love just doesn’t exsist in real life. I know for a fact that men become bored with any woman after time, and most will replace you as soon as a younger more attractive woman comes along and pays them any attention. I meet women all the time that tell me they have caught there spouse or boyfriend cheating on line and how hurt they are from it. I do not even bother wasting my time watching these kind of movies anymore because they are so fake.
I have three things to say about this post:
a) it’s not just men who get bored with their girlfriends or wives, women do with men as well. Even so, making a sweeping generalisation isn’t a good idea because it’s like saying if four men killed women, all men are killers. Or if some men left the loo lid up, all men must do it as well… Oh wait, they do. Nix the latter example.
b) if romance novels are unrealistic, what are other genres? Mystery (villain almost always gets caught), SF (hero triumphs over teh baddie… oh yeah, and the fact that a human civilisation in the outer space exists at all), fantasy (goblins! fairies! magic! All real!), Action (hero still keeps going even if he gets shot three or a hundred times), Adventure (hero fights with a massive gorilla and survives! whoo hoo!), Horror (them weird creatures sure exist – vampires, ghosts, werewolves, black dogs, zombies, and the cute Monster from Frankenstein), and many more.
c) demand a refund for your Common Sense radar because it’s clearly not working.
Me, me, me. And I’m not bitter.
Romance novels represent a fantasy. The HEA is totally unrealistic because it assumes that the couple will never experience the ups and downs of real life. Or if they do, love will conquer all. Also, they have mind-blowing sex – every single time. Readers know this is not realistic but it doesn’t stop us enjoying them.
That’s not to say romance doesn’t happen in real life, or long term relationships can’t work out. They can, but with a lot of work on both sides – again something which is not mentioned in romance novels.
It sounds like this woman is gravitating towards the wrong men if she’s this disillusioned. Yes, some cheat, but not all.
@wendy
Precisely.
@SarahT
You said it all. Well said.
I am a cynical cow, so not going to make a judgement call on true love/relationships etc in real life, though will say in a large family on both sides, there are only three “successful” longterm relationships, though this could say more about us..
This response reminds me of an article that set my hackles up earlier this week, basically saying how twilight raises womens expectations of men and such crapola.
I would love to know why romance is degenerated for being so unrealistic, when as you point out funnily enough other genre FICTION is no more realistic, and why are only the women readers are being led astray by the ebil romance??
Sorry that was a little ranty, and not quite on topic.
But I feel better for spitting it out!
@medumb
You said it all, so am not going to plant a boot in your arse for being a little ranty and not quite on topic.